spent a fair bit of time looking in that direction.

Yep, I suppose I did. But what I tried to do was assure her that as Taylor Swift says... "we are NEVER EVER EVER EVER getting back together. Although for some bizarre reason she decided that we needed to talk a couple of times last night.

I was wondering if there was some way to make this less socially awkward?

That's just time... more water under this bridge, and you in my rear view getting smaller and smaller.

Thank you for not killing me...

That was never a real concern... I don't hate you btw, It might be a lot easier if I did... did you read my letter?

I did.

I think I said everything I needed to say to you in that.


drinking on the job... Ok so it was a sip... and we poured the rest out, maybe vendors shouldn't bring us beer at noon on a tuesday. Everybody else wanted to, but they were too chicken... I wasn't. So fuck you guys, I understand the policy, and I will not need to be told again. I especially didn't appreciate being singled out and dragged into an empty edit bay to tell me, eat a dick, and happy holidays.
I'm in ur lap lowerin ur blood pressure

How I wish...

Sending my thoughts and prayers to a friend who's wife is dying... I wish I had a deep and abiding faith in something... I wish I knew, deeply KNEW with the sort of conviction that they have that somebody is minding the light at the end of the tunnel, but I don't. I have my beliefs... but that's exactly what they are. Just a belief, without evidence without substantive proof.

It's hard to offer comfort from that position. Hallmark doesn't make a "she will turn to dust, as will we all" or a "you will move on with your life... and eventually feel happy again" card.

Even though both of these things are true, neither offers much comfort to a man who is grieving.
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llamas everywhere!, Llamas


to all the new people who have added me in the last week or so... I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN! guh! what's the point of following somebody's journal if you don't understand what they are saying.

Not that I post much publicly anyway... but seriously, I've had like 20 people add me and all of them write in russian. WTF mate?

or to put it another way...

все новые люди, которые добавили меня в последнюю неделю или около того ... Я не говорю по-русски! guh! Что такое точка следующий-то журнал, если вы не понимаете, что они говорят.

Не то чтобы я отправляю гораздо публично в любом случае ... но серьезно, я уже 20 человек, как мне добавить, и все они пишут на русском языке. Мать WTF?

(btw if the proceeding paragraph doesn't make sense... that's how I would see your journal if I translated it)
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The Joy of Sox...

Hello to all my flying monkeys... The times they are still difficult... I've managed to work a week in the last month, and trying desperately to stay above the waterline. But in these trying times of turmoil and universal brouhaha, it's important to remember that there are still worthy causes that are worth giving to.

To this end... our friend and midnight rida Benjamin is going to be doing the Aids Ride in just over two months... and R and I wanted to donate something to this very worthy cause but because of the whole not working... well you know. So instead R is auctioning off a very lovely pair of custom warm woolly socks to one lucky person. You can get in on the bidding right here Let's find a cure and keep your tootsies warm together.

Who wants to get soxed up? :)
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    None, or other
Playing with Fire

How has your 09 been so far?

Driving back from "shade" today I was thinking. Now that there is the first 24 hours of the year are nearly behind us with another 364.25 days ahead before we get to kiss the first decade of the 21st century good bye. How did you spend it? If this 24 hours was a microcosm of the next 8742 to come... how would that look?

how much of it did you spend dancing?
how many times did you laugh?
how many hugs did you give and receive?
how much time did you sit in traffic?
how much time did you spend trapped indoors working?
how much time were you afraid?
how much of it did you feel loved?
how much time sleep did you get?
did you take good care of yourself?
did you take care of others around you?
how much time did you spend with the people you love?
how much of it did you spend alone?
how much of it did you spend doing something you love?
how much of it did you spend doing something you hate?

I know for myself I would be pretty happy if the next 364 days were as wonderful as this one... it's be hard to make money, so perhaps a bit more balance is in order. Work a little, play a lot. I'd also be pretty happy if I got to spend as much time around all the wonderful folk in my life as I did in the last 24 hours. I also felt like I took pretty good care of myself slept when I needed too (although perhaps less then I should), ate pretty well, drank but not to excess, played hard, danced, laughed, did what I could to take care of others... and generally had a pretty damn good time.

How about you?

Now I'm not really one for resolutions... but I do have some plans. Things I want to learn and or accomplish this year (I'll keep them to myself for now ;) that way if I don't make it I'm only beholden to myself). I'd also like this year to have much more love and less loss and pain. Just sayin.

So what do you wish for in '09?

This year starts with more hope then I have felt in a long time... in a lot of ways. Be awesome to yourselves and each other... and go forward with <3 <3 <3 hope to get to see all of you (especially the ones I didn't this last 24) very soon and very often.

<3 to all,

P.S. also crossposted from Machina_Candeo:
A late xmas present for all our friends... check it out right here

And from all of us... here's wishing you a very good new year and all the best for '09
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